I Think Therefore I Am

I Think Therefore I Am was released in paper back form in 2001. It included humor essays I had written between 1997 and 1999.

Chad Kluck Turns 21

Today marks a milestone in my life. Five years ago when I turned sixteen, I achieved my freedom by being able to drive wherever my friends told me to. The age of eighteen allowed me to play pickles (or “pull-tabs,” as it seems to be called here in Minnesota), vote, and smoke. Now that I […]

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Answers, Precious Answers

Recently I was told that I have an answer for everything. This made me think as my ego grew bigger: Am I smart-minded or smart-mouthed? I have been asked many ques­tions and I feel that my superior knowledge is being wasted on just the few people who get up the courage to ask the great […]

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My Thoughts, An Editorial

This editorial does not necessarily reflect the views of any of those who placed accompanying advertising. Last Tuesday, Minnesota elected a new governor named Jesse “The Mind” Ventura, former pro-wrestler. Everyone I know did not vote for him, but then I have a small group of friends who agree on all the issues with me. […]

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Ghouls, Goblins, and Ghosts–Oh, My!

Halloween is upon us and you know what that means! A gi­ant marshmallow. Or whatever the kids dress as these days. I remember the days when I went out as Oscar the Grouch, a henchman, a pumpkin, and a crème puff. These were not store bought costumes but elaborate costumes created by my loving mother. […]

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Cyber Bumper Stickers

Perhaps one of the most frustrating things in cyber space are the cyber citizens who use stupid signatures at the end of their e-mails. Perhaps the second most frustrating thing in cyber space is the stupid use of the word “cyber,” i.e., cyber bumper stickers and cyber citizen a.k.a. netizen. To me the e-mail signature […]

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¿Qué? (What?)

So I’m driving around uptown Omaha, Nebraska, one day and I stop at a traffic light. There is a Chinese restaurant with a sign that reads: “Authentic Chinese Cuisine / Dine In or Carryout / Se habla Español.” The windows read: “Tacos / Burritos / Tamales.” I think: ¿Qué? (Spanish for “What?”) How authentic is […]

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Gimme That Ol’ Time 8-Bit Cartridge

Baseball is the American sport, many changes over the years, many heroes, and many memories. Nothing used to bring us closer to the game than a ticket to the ballpark. Within the past decade, another way was invented to bring us to the game. I received my first “ticket” on Christmas of ’88. Boy, was […]

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Hate It When That Happens Revisited

Art is sometimes difficult to understand. Being on a college campus, I am exposed to many forms of ununderstandable art in the form of sculptures. Here at the University of St. Thomas, we have the “Plumb Bomb” (a large carpenter’s plumb in a marble depression), “Canoes” (two stone dough-nuts that are connected like a chain […]

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