My Thoughts, An Editorial
This editorial does not necessarily reflect the views of any of those who placed accompanying advertising.
Last Tuesday, Minnesota elected a new governor named Jesse "The Mind" Ventura, former pro-wrestler. Everyone I know did not vote for him, but then I have a small group of friends who agree on all the issues with me. Upon hearing that "The Mind" won Tuesday night, I thought, "A pro-wrestler for governor? C'mon! He's going to put the legislature into a sleeper hold!" I then thought, "I need a nap."
After waking up, I thought, "I'm thirsty," and, "What does this mean for politics?" It means any Joe, whether average Joe or Joe "The Killer," can run for office and win. Should this happen? I don't know, we will have to see.
AND LIVE FROM THE MINNESOTA GOVERNOR'S MANSION IN SAINT PAUL WWF MONDAY NIGHT FIGHT! FEATURING THE GOVERNOR HIMSELF JESSE THE MIIIIIIIND VEN-TU-RA! OPPOSING HIM IS STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! WHAT A GREAT INAUGURATION THIS WILL BE! AND NOW TO THE CONTENDERS....
Sorry, I felt like making light of the situation. It will not happen again. Since a non-politician won an office, what will this mean for politics? Will we see more of this?
AND LIVE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE IN WASHINGTON, D.C.! FEATURING THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF, HULK HO-GAN! AND HIS OPPONENT FROM THE SENATE STROM "THE STORM" THUR-MOND!
This means that all those political science majors out there in the schools of higher education are going to classes when people, like me, are running for office with no education on the subject. It also means C-Span may go pay-per-view.
AND LIVE FROM THE U.N.! FEATURING THE U.S. EMBASSADOR HARRY "THE COOL MAN" CARL AND HIS OPPONENT FROM HYTALI MORT ALO "THE CO-BRA" TANE! WHAT A GREAT FIGHT TONIGHT AND NOW TO THE CONTENDERS....
COOL MAN: HYTALI IS GOING DOWN! I'M GOING TO PLUCK HIS EYES OUT AND STOMP ON THEM!
COBRA: YOU ARE DEAD! I'M GOING TO BODY SLAM YOU ALL THE WAY TO CHINA!
COOL MAN: I'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO RAISE ARMS AGAINST THE U.S., BECAUSE I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR ARMS OFF! THEN I'M GOING TO SEND THEM TO YOUR MOTHER!
COBRA: LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS! SHE HAS MORE FIGHTING POWER THAN YOUR FATHER!
Man, I feel bad, you are trying to get the real issues here and I keep on interrupting with my fantasies. Just think, now everyone can get involved with politics. The man down the block with the funny haircut, the weird, old guy on the corner who heckles, maybe Springer will come back to politics. (Okay, I promise, this will be the last time I mention Jerry Springer in any of My Thoughts.)
This was probably the cheapest campaign ever won in the modern day of elections. The commercials featured children playing with action figure dolls and a very large RV. They were, in fact, funnier than any skit "Saturday Night Live" produced recently. As a matter of fact, many did not take them seriously and just snorted at the fact that this guy would win. Who is laughing now?
AND LIVE FROM THE VATICAN, FORMERLY CHAD "THE PLUCK-ER" KLUCKER AND NOW MARTIN "THE HOLYYYYYMAN" VI VERSUS SAM "THE MAN" MAN-LY! EARLIER TONIGHT WHILE POPE MARTIN VI WAS GIVING HIS SPEECH HE PICKED RANDOMLY FROM THE CROWD AN OPPONENT TO MEET HIM IN THE CAGE. ONE MAN WILL EMERGE VICTORIOUS, THE OTHER A LOSER AND VERY BLOODY.
HOLY MAN: SUCKERS! HA HA HA!