V-Day, the Ugly Truth

A friend recently emailed me and told me that (and I quote): “You know those darn girlfriends just get in the way of our selfishness.” This sorry, selfish man sends himself Valen­tines and sends a yearly email on the fourteenth of Febru­ary, complaining about Valentine’s Day. “It is a day for the women to get […]

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Fixing the Y2K Problem

As some of you may know, there is controversy over the fact that since the first year of the A.D. era was A.D. 1, the new mil­lennium should not start until A.D. 2001. I will now address the issue in a funnier, more humorous way. Please take me seriously. First of all, it is a […]

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I’ll Be Home with Bells On

Christmas is upon us. Kids are on break from school, shop­pers scurry to find gifts at stores only to find empty shelves, and families are preparing to gather. I only bought two pres­ents this year, both of which I cannot mention because I have not given them yet. I do not want to ruin the […]

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Flight to Egypt

I was thinking the other day (Oh dear Lord no! Take shelter before these thoughts take shape!) about air travel. I feel that air travel is the safest but yet most feared form of travel. Many people who would not think twice about taking a car someplace, even though over a million people are injured […]

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The Artist Formerly Known As Chad

I will soon be entering a new profession. Records. Not only records but CDs, tapes, and 8-Tracks. I hope to make it big in my new profession since I have great ideas for soothing sounds. Remember, these are just preliminary ideas so don’t be surprised when you do not see “Chad’s Best to You at […]

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Christmas Wish List

The day after Thanksgiving is traditionally known as the day after Thanksgiving. It is also known as the busiest shopping day of the year. For some reason, even though stores have Christmas decorations up already in July, shoppers do not start shopping until the day after Thanksgiving, which is on a Friday this year as […]

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Chad Kluck Turns 21

Today marks a milestone in my life. Five years ago when I turned sixteen, I achieved my freedom by being able to drive wherever my friends told me to. The age of eighteen allowed me to play pickles (or “pull-tabs,” as it seems to be called here in Minnesota), vote, and smoke. Now that I […]

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Answers, Precious Answers

Recently I was told that I have an answer for everything. This made me think as my ego grew bigger: Am I smart-minded or smart-mouthed? I have been asked many ques­tions and I feel that my superior knowledge is being wasted on just the few people who get up the courage to ask the great […]

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