The Artist Formerly Known As Chad

I will soon be entering a new profession. Records. Not only records but CDs, tapes, and 8-Tracks. I hope to make it big in my new profession since I have great ideas for soothing sounds. Remember, these are just preliminary ideas so don’t be surprised when you do not see “Chad’s Best to You at […]

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Christmas Wish List

The day after Thanksgiving is traditionally known as the day after Thanksgiving. It is also known as the busiest shopping day of the year. For some reason, even though stores have Christmas decorations up already in July, shoppers do not start shopping until the day after Thanksgiving, which is on a Friday this year as […]

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Chad Kluck Turns 21

Today marks a milestone in my life. Five years ago when I turned sixteen, I achieved my freedom by being able to drive wherever my friends told me to. The age of eighteen allowed me to play pickles (or “pull-tabs,” as it seems to be called here in Minnesota), vote, and smoke. Now that I […]

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Answers, Precious Answers

Recently I was told that I have an answer for everything. This made me think as my ego grew bigger: Am I smart-minded or smart-mouthed? I have been asked many ques­tions and I feel that my superior knowledge is being wasted on just the few people who get up the courage to ask the great […]

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My Thoughts, An Editorial

This editorial does not necessarily reflect the views of any of those who placed accompanying advertising. Last Tuesday, Minnesota elected a new governor named Jesse “The Mind” Ventura, former pro-wrestler. Everyone I know did not vote for him, but then I have a small group of friends who agree on all the issues with me. […]

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Ghouls, Goblins, and Ghosts–Oh, My!

Halloween is upon us and you know what that means! A gi­ant marshmallow. Or whatever the kids dress as these days. I remember the days when I went out as Oscar the Grouch, a henchman, a pumpkin, and a crème puff. These were not store bought costumes but elaborate costumes created by my loving mother. […]

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Cyber Bumper Stickers

Perhaps one of the most frustrating things in cyber space are the cyber citizens who use stupid signatures at the end of their e-mails. Perhaps the second most frustrating thing in cyber space is the stupid use of the word “cyber,” i.e., cyber bumper stickers and cyber citizen a.k.a. netizen. To me the e-mail signature […]

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¿Qué? (What?)

So I’m driving around uptown Omaha, Nebraska, one day and I stop at a traffic light. There is a Chinese restaurant with a sign that reads: “Authentic Chinese Cuisine / Dine In or Carryout / Se habla Español.” The windows read: “Tacos / Burritos / Tamales.” I think: ¿Qué? (Spanish for “What?”) How authentic is […]

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